Sunday, March 26, 2006
What hiatus?
Haha. I am back. Just because I am feeling oh-so-overly bored. I can't go to sleep because I was drowned by a pill of Tylenol two hours ago. Getting sick is a pain. But I brought it upon myself, hehe.It seems like it has been ages since I wrote my last proper entry. Oh well, this explains how ridiculously busy I am with school, no ... I should say ... university.
The end of the term is near. The last few weeks of school is always dreadful. Professors start to realize that they are running short of time thus they need to rush through the syllabus. Assignments start to pile up each week due to this rush. Majorly annoying. Do they think we're robots?
The drive to strive for excellence is diminishing with each term. It is unbelievable how three years have passed by so quickly. I still remember dreading my timetable in my first year at varsity. Having to compete with those nerdy engineers was a challenge. I felt that everyone just knew what they were doing. And I didn't. I was just struggling to survive as a student. I was trying to keep up. Everyday, it was just the same old routine. Even the lessons in class. Copy notes. Copy notes. Copy notes. Well, some professors are good at teaching, and so that is when we all listen with interest. Currently, four out of five of my classes are just for copying notes. At least, that is how I feel about it.
It is ironic how a higher level course has influenced my interest greatly. Perhaps the boring routined work of other courses has led me to this. I still remember the first day I stepped into this class, "CHE 582 - Introduction to Biomaterials". I felt scared. Only three out of 12 students were undergraduates. The rest were doing their masters in engineering, pharmacy, phD in chem. engineering and medical sciences ...
The first thought that came to my mind was, "Am I going to fail in this class?"
Somehow, I stayed on in the class. The only third-year student among the rest. It was intimidating. To think of how much they know and how little I knowledge I have in my head ...
Fortunately, the professor teaching this course is an excellent teacher. Approachable. Helpful. And friendly. Very often, most courses have a similar syllabus such as weekly assignments, one midterm (or two) and a final exam. But CHE 582 ... doesn't have a final exam, tee hee hee! However, it doesn't mean that it is going to be plain-sailing. I wrote a midterm for this course. But the professor felt that it is not worth it to have just exams for this course. So, he changed the syllabus. He scraped the final exam and introduced two assignments - research paper and presentation.
Now, I understood why he said it was not worth it to have exams for this course. Left alone to work, I didn't realize how beneficial this assignment was until I completed it. This assignment allowed me to stretch my mind to the limits. I don't know if I am better at writing research papers or writing exams. But after doing my presentation last week, I know I should start discovering my strong points in state-of-the-art research.
My professor spoke to me in person after my presentation. He said I was going to get the highest mark and that I don't realize how good my mind is. And for once, I felt proud and glad because a professor notices my capabilities. Lately, I have questioned myself countless times, "Am I really suited to be an engineer?" I have always had this impression that professors only remember those who ask intelligent questions. It is an observation that takes place daily for the past three years in varsity. And most of them keep commenting on how we as engineers should be able to do this and that ... I often feel that I am not able to meet those "requirements".
But now, a praise for me finally, which is enough to get me motivated to work harder. Also, he offered to take me in as a graduate student if I wanted. Or else, he could help me out if I really do have interest in bio research engineering.
The question is now ...
Do I want to do masters?
Or should I just try to get a job after I graduate?
I have to think carefully about what I want to do in the future. In a way, I am glad but I also feel confused. Then again, without this opportunity, I would never have the slightest hope that I am capable of doing better.
10:50 PM | |
Friday, March 17, 2006
Busy, Moody, and Cranky
I think I will go on a hiatus for a while.There has been too much going on.
I find that I am having trouble recognizing who I really am. It is such a turbulent phase in life for me right now. Everything is mixed up - from friends and family to my principles in life.
So many responsibilities to take on. So much effort needed to keep up with school. After my finals in April, things will be less hectic. I will be working as a research assistant for one of the professors for 3 months before returning to KL. I feel excited. I want to experience working in a lab with graduate students. I can't wait to go home for a holiday. But also, I am looking forward to spend spring and summer here in Edmonton.
Take care people. I'll be back soon.